i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize