dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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