I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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