Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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