ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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