After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
