I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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