He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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