does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
