but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
