Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
