When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
