Say something about gay babies.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize