The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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