Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize