I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
