Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The best revenge is premature balding
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
