we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Actions speak louder than pants.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
