Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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