So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
