going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
