She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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