I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I forget how to act sober
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
