She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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