Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
