That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
