Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
