but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize