Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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