Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Will exercising make me less horny?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
