the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
