Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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