i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
