if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
