My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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