Nicole vs. Life
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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