If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
