a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
