No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They took my balls.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
