It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
