Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
