i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My dick has a subreddit
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
