She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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