did you get engaged???
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
