i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize