i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
