just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
