Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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