if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
