I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
