the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
