I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
