erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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