i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
