using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
