ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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