3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
