He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
there is glitter all over my balls
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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