i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
