Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize