Me too!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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