Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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