Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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