Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
