Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize