did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
