i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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