I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
