I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize