I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
