she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Will exercising make me less horny?
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