Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
