I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
