just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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