My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
