This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
