So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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