in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This house was built for laser tag.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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