Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The power of my boobs compel you
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
