That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize